Losing Control

By Shannon

these thoughts keep returning to my mind
as if a broken record
there’s no way to leave them behind
no strength to hold them against my defense board

I feel so pathetically out of control
as if my mind has a mind of its own
there’s no way to hide my sad soul
I can only keep these lips sewn

these thoughts form a division from reality
my dreams don’t leave at the start of day
but rather follow me as the sun sets and rises on the sea
there’s no way to keep them at bay

in daylight I cannot let these thoughts escape
my outside self must remain separate
I cannot let these thoughts show on my face
this inner storm must be kept

but when alone in silent solitude
these waves of thoughts flood my mind
I feel as if I am nude
in this merciless attack of every emotional kind

these strings cannot be pulled
these thoughts cannot disappear
they will forever lie in my soul
and in my heart they will forever sear