The Last Barman

By Anonymous

I am the last barman poet.

I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make.

Americans getting stinky on something I stir or shake.

The sex on the beach, the schnapps made from peach,

The Velvet Hammer,

the Alabama Slamma!

I make things with juice and froth: the Pink Squirrel, the 3-Toed Sloth. I make drinks so sweet and snazzy:

The Iced Tea, The Kamikaze, The Org*sm, The Death Spasm,

The Singapore Sling, The Dingaling.

America you’ve just been devoted to every flavor I got.

But if you want to got loaded,

why don’t you just order a shot?

Bar is open.