The Mechanics

By Bill Simmons

Just hold your finger on the end of this plug wire’
Said the mechanic to the lad
The apprentice said ‘See, do you mean just like this? ‘
As he then smiled at his dad

His father cranked over the motor of that car
When he did the boy screamed just a bit
‘Nope, sure enough, it is getting fire
It seems all them spark plugs do hit’

The father told the boy, ‘Now just hold this here handkerchief
Right over the exhaust pipe like so
I’ll crank her up and let the motor run a bit
And we’ll see how the exhaust it flows

The boy did just as his dad he said
And for a spell that motor ran fine
But then it backfired and covered the boy all in muck
And for a moment he thought he was blind

Now the motor it just quit running
The father said, ‘Awe, we run out of gas
Take this here hose and siphon from my truck
And we’ll get this thing going at last

The boy said, ‘Sure! ‘ as he stuffed that hose down
Then suddenly he collapsed to the ground
The father said ‘Son, now you ain’t supposed to swallow!
‘Now hurry and spit that stuff out! ‘

Now they had that car up on jacks
It seemed the old car stalled a bit
But they left it running when they went to change the oil
Now they were all covered with ick

Then the old motor it stammered and stuttered
And for lack of oil it finally just died
Looking at each other there stood the boy and his father
One would think that perhaps they might be suprised

The father then proudly pats the boy on his back
‘Well son, now we know’
‘It was just the old motor, she was all worn out
It was just her time to go’

So they wrote on the ticket, Charge 100 bucks
And if this was your car, well, good luck
Sometimes a mechanic only knows what is taught
But they won’t ever work on my truck!

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