Grief-Stricken Heart

While raindrops fall steady on a dark night,

The cold rakes through my body sending chills

Inward and throughout, as my heart grieves

In all its aloneness wailing, quietly in pain

With no guarantee of it ever dying down

Or any part of my heart surviving this

Seemingly endless flow of warm tears

Drowning all of me from the inside out,

That I dare not let them out all at once

For fear of flooding the earth and…

All the beauty that has potential to be

…In my life, once my eyes can clearly see

Through this despair that does blind me

My Soul and heart hope that truth would be seen

So that someday my dream will BE a dream no more,

And my daughter will once again be with me

Back in my life and cradled in my arms

So I can protect her from all harm,

And Comfort and soothe her when she cries,

Not fail again to miss another smile or laugh

And love her, not just from a distance

But I don’t know that she’ll embrace me

Now, again as her mother, since,

I don’t know that she even knows I exist.

I worry that her love for me is no more,

But lost among everything else in tragedy

That does not change my own heart

Although it seemed to be dead for a while

Because beneath the shattered remains

Of the grief-stricken gap that lay hidden

Within my chest… All pure love remains

Although very rearranged by the pain…

That is intensely and furiously blinding

The courageous heart that once was

Known to this very vulnerable soul