Ode To Kidney Stone

I think next week I’ll celebrate,
because on you they’ll operate,
before the ‘parting of the ways’,
I have some final words to say…

You lay there cold and insincere,
between my navel and my rear,
an ugly stone–a worthless gem
just nesting in my abdomen.

I’ve carried you these many years,
you’ve shared my joys and secret fears,
I’ve nurtured you since you were born
inside my kidney, safe and warm.

I’ve cursed at you, my enlarged friend
and wished that your existence end,
I’ve guzzled beer that gave me gas
but still, you just refused to pass!

But soon, quite soon, we’ll bid farewell,
here’s hoping that there’s room in Hell,
and once you’ve gone I’ll be relieved,
a Kodak moment–yes, indeed!!

Goodbye, adieu and adios,
to your demise I’ll drink a toast,
but, wait–oh no! What’s that I heard?…
Welcome back–you’re not insured!