With Glory And His Scissors Glinting

With glory and his scissors glinting
In the moonlight he is clipping
My bangs he is destroying my ponytail he is
Blasting my wretched sideburns into f*cking Hades he is
Kissing another barber while he cuts
My hair and the other barber is also
Cutting my hair while he kisses
The other barber, my barber, and I
Am delighted to have two
Barbers kissing each other as they
Cut my hair together and I am clapping
And laughing in the barber’s chair as they
Kiss and cut together.