What Waiters Say

When dining recently in restaurants
at dinner time or luncheons

I notice that there’s been a change
in how a waiter functions.

The waiter often brings the menu
and with a touch of fervor

Lets me know what is his name and says,
“Today I’ll be your server.”

But when an usher shows me to my seat
when I attend the theater,

I never hear the usher’s name or
“Tonight I’ll be your seater.”

And when a barber says I’m next
I never hear the barber utter,

“Let me provide you with my name,
for today I’ll be your cutter.”

I much prefer the older way but
if the waiter’s choice is newer,

I’ll cheerfully announce my name and say,
“Today I’ll be your chewer.”