A Poem About Weed

Hello. My name is Mary Jane
Also known as cannabis sativa, pot, weed, and hip
I am what your parents used to place in white sheets of paper
No, not note book paper, joint paper
Yes I’m pretty popular
My body can transform into many forms so I am typically the color green
like the Grinch
I am the present hidden under the tree
I bet most of you in this room have tried to make a whore out of me
But i have simply pimped you in choosing my three leaves over the trinity
My scent is a mix of Christmas trees and overcooked Orville Redenbacher
when most people meet me they break me into pieces and discard my seeds
laying me to rest in a swisher sweet colored casket
the flick of a lighter ignites me
contring up my spirit to make it’s way into yours i am nothing more
the commercialized voodoo and you are my harry pot-ters
you know I’m sort of an activist
before the marijuana tax act of 1937 i was completely legal
no handcuffs on my buds, no shackles on my stems
little do these people know how much i can do for those i need of my help
i abolish the pain of AIDS and Cancer patients while amplifying the flesh
making every sin you could ever conceive
more desirable than the apple dangling like death on the tree in the sight of Eve
why do you think everytime you take a puff of me you get greedy like the hustlers in your stomach
I cause the munchies, everybody loves the munchies
even though the munchies is just a cute word for gluttony
I am better at feeding you sin than Satan is
Hey hey hey, its also been said i can help those with Glaucoma
everybody has the right to see right?
take one hit of me and watch your eyes become x-rays undressing every person you see
helping you rape fornicate and sodomized men and women with your blinks
lust is simply a sinly side affect that comes along with me and its funny
that those who allow lust to take over their soul got stoned to death go figure
thats the reason why your eyes are the color of red rum when you are drunk off me
i am a murderer in disguise but nobody dies from weed
the leading cause of preventable death in America is tobacco not me
but your idolatry of me is killing you soft and slowly like the Fugees on repeat you
consistently seem me over the author of your breath you breathe in my Satanic love when you are thirsty for
comfort and peace when you are lonley you let me sing you lullabies with my lies when you are
hurt you cry while feasting on my pipes and bones you and your friends
can’t seem to see the suicide you commit every time you do a shotgun
woah woah woah, first of all, its not that serious
second of all, if I’m legalized, i can save the government up to $10-15 billion a year
first of all its eternally serious, second of all lets do the math God is eternal
infinite meaning he has no beginning no end there is no number ascribed to him
God is holy man is not, sin is a direct slap in the face of God in which he created
in honor of him every puff puff pass is storing up a measurable wrath on the hand of the transgressor
hypothetically speaking lets say every sin costs a million dollars
i tend to produce less greed hate pride idolotry laziness sexual immorality
munchies i mean gluttony with every person i come in contact with literally that means for
every joint pipe or bone smoked you reckoning $9 million a high
if you were to smoke a blunt a day for 365 days you will end up making
$3,285,000,000 in sin a year for every year you are with me against a holy infinite and righteous God
which you are expected to meet on judgement day you cannot afford to love me
i was not made for you to replace me with the creator
I am not God but didn’t God create marijuana?
all weed heads are doing are simply making use of his high in art work
so we should apply that concept to everything God created
Child molesters shouldn’t be penalized because they are simply making use of children
with forced intercourse right? Until the earth is flung through the sky i will continue
to justify my lies by helping you to pervert the true purpose of my conception
the truth is i cannot help you, i cannot cure you, i cannot give you peace and joy
i cannot comfort you i am only temporary can’t you see i am as fickle as a Schizophrenic therapist
i make you feel good for 15-30 minutes then i leave you with the same emotions with you as you came
so i know you will come back to me how desperate can you be
i hit you and quit you every time you smoke me
you have made me into your master and willingly became my slave
the evidence of your bond to me is in the cotton growing inside of your mouth
every time you kiss me don’t you see we are not made for each other
a lot of you know me this way but not many of you know the real me
this is the real me, this is reality, i am more than mary jane
i am the ressurrected Jekyll Hyde
and there are two faces of every high
i am either extremely evil
or wonderfully good
and what is good can seem evil and what is evil is excellent at looking good
which side of me you want to believe is for you to choose
lovers of me will not suffer from lung disease but they will all suffocate on deception
this has been a PSA announcement from mary Jane
and i hope i have officially blown your high