The Weight Of It All

it feels too heavy
to rise from bed
and draw back
the curtains
when the world sits
like a cinder block
pressed against
my rib cage.
to rehearse a smile
for the half-hearted
audience inside myself.
to take a shower
without wishing
to sink down the drain.
to feel the splintering sunlight
without wanting to shrivel inside of it.
to clean my apartment.
to answer the phone.
to write this poem.