The Greenish Bluish Tones Of Cerulean

the greenish bluish tones of cerulean

mixed with a dash of ochre

create an image – not the impressionist greens

found in Monet’s lush poppy fields

and not the strong blues flowing down the Seine

but the textures of unruly paint dots, erratically

splattered spilled stained

they bleed all over my pages

but my legs and mind do try ever so hard

to keep up with a weary world

where there’s somehow no security

in the greens of a paintbrush

that cannot guarantee my protection,

for I’m the amateur artist who lacks control

like that old car with the dodgy motor

that nobody trusts enough-

my skin is left tired and tainted

by these greenish bluish blotches

and risk cycles round me in circles.

i never progress past yesterday’s chapter

of knocking falling staining –

these marks are less than flawless ceruleans

and lesser than crisp impressionist skies

but these are the honest blues beneath my paper’s edges.

more than the reductive label of the “Clumsy Girl”,

I beam with a creative license

and my bruised and battered bluish greens

make my skin tough enough to take

the hurtful words and leave my legacy

as I knock and fall and always

return to the page every single time